Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: Age In Regaurd To Men's Attitude

     This post we are going to talk about age and how it is relevant to man's attitude towards dating and relationships. Too many articles and books generalize men and place them all into this one giant category. Then send women out truly unprepared for what is to come and what is to be expected. Most of these articles and advice columnist don't really take age into consideration and gives bad advice on men that is very general and definitely wouldn't work for women who date men in a certain age group. Most good advice from these columnist and dating coaches give advice that are good for when you're dating a man in his twenties. When dealing with a man 35 and older, it might not be the best advice to give. Men grow up and take different attitude toward things in life. Love and romance is definitely one of them. So in this post, we are going to talk about those differences. Hopefully we can shed some light on how age is relevant factor to evaluate when it comes to dating, and how it affects you.



        Now to start it off, lets talk about a mans mind when it come to women and sex. Some where between the age of 14 and 20 a mans gets his first taste of sex and falls in love with it. From that point on he 's trying to sleep with every woman on the planet. Some where after 25 he realizes he's probably not going to sleep with every woman on the plant. They still tries but the realization kicks in. Some where after 30 they realize they don't have to sleep with every woman on the planet and somewhere after 35 they realize they don't want to. This is all a huge overall generalization, and there are a lot of exceptions to the rule. There are men over the age of 45 that are still in the conquest stage of there life and there are 18 year old boys that want just one woman to grow old with. Not to mention every man has a stage in his life when he is young and would love to have that special some one, just like every woman has a stage in her life when she wants to play the field (doesn't mean that they do, they just think about it). Now with all that being said, the after 30 part is when things get difficult for women. They say women mature faster than men do. Personally I disagree. I just think women and men are wired differently and are raised to go about achieving the same goals in life in different ways, so priority is confused with responsibility. How you view maturity is irrelevant on what we're talking about. For the point of this conversation you just need to accept that when it come to dealing with men and romance, woman turn 22 and stay in a particular mindset for 15 to 20 years. They may grow up and appreciate different things in men, want different things, develop different attitude towards sex and relationship but when it come dealing with men, it pretty much stays the same. There are requirements and standards that a man must meet to get their attention, keep their interest, and move forward romantically. Women may become more flexible in their terms, conditions, and/or standards but they are there none the less. They maybe raise or lower as they go for whatever reason but every woman has them. There is certain amount of interest he needs to demonstrate or a certain amount of phone calls that need to be made. Sometime it's just a matter of time or a certain number of dates. Men may not recognize them when they're younger and really don't care. They are either really into you and tolerate them or they're players and know ways around them and have others to fall back on while they wait out and fulfill the requirements. It doesn't matter to men in their in conquest stage of life. So they do whatever is necessary. When a man is older and no longer feels the need to sleep with every attractive woman he meets, is when a new attitude and approach to the situation develops. Which is the point of this whole conversation.


     In the younger years, women have a certain level of control in dealing with men in romantic situations. This comes from the men being in the conquest under 25 stage and haven't crossed them off the list yet. So they will tolerate certain behaviors just to get sex. Now women use this control when they're younger to manipulate. They manipulate men to settle some of their insecurities about the situation or to test men to figure out which guy to choose and sometime just to stroke their ego. This level of control is where they get tripped up on in the later years. Women at a subconscious level have these games or standard operating procedure. They may not see it that way or even look at it as a game but men do. They may even take it one step further and say “I hate games”. When the truth is they hate when men don't play their game”. For men doing things to not look easy is considered a game. Wanting to be chased a little and doing things to see how much he is into you, all qualify as games to men. Now most of these articles are giving techniques that would work on a 20 to 32 year old but unless a guy really likes you or is in a conquest stage in his life, they will be the kiss of death if he is forty and over and here is why. You know the saying young dumb and full of cum? Well at 40 a man is no longer young, no longer dumb, and with a lower sex drive no longer full of cum. For women sex is more mental than physical the older they get it becomes more physical than it does mental. For men it the opposite. It is more physical than mental when they're young. As they get older, it gets more mental than physical and women usually aren't as attractive at 36 as they were when they were 19. So it wouldn't matter if she was more attractive as an older woman, a forty year old man isn't going to tolerate certain behavior. It can even be a turn off. At 35, a man looks at a 22 year old girl and thinks sex is not worth this conversation. If he does tolerate certain behavior then you better believe that's sex is probably all he really wants. Once he gets it, her days are numbered. Their time together is dependent on him not getting board with sleeping her. There are conquest situations which are the exception to the rule. Example of one of those situations, is when an older man tolerates a 21 year old to prove he still has what it takes ( but he doesn't really want to date her very long ). Then there are married men and players. A married man will tolerate whatever as long as he can hide her from his wife. Her games may even help with that. A player has many others, so his perspective is clear. She can play all the games she wants, just let me know when you're ready for sex. I'll add you to the rotation. Simply put, playing game after a certain age says there is a level of immaturity about her, and that she is not to be taken seriously for anything long term. Coming from a young girl is understandable and tolerated but she is considered annoying after a while. Games from a middle aged woman is just a turn off. If she can keep him a while and show some other qualities, she can change his mind but is that a gauntlet anyone wants to run?

     With age comes experience and men recognize certain games and patterns from dealing with women in their youth and no they don't appreciate them. In their mind we are adults and she either wants to go on a date or she doesn't. So they don't chase anymore, they invite. She either accepts decline or ask for a rain check. He may start off asking her out and sincerely wants to see where it goes, but the longer she shows hesitation or even a lack of good reason of why you can't, the more she looks like she is playing games. Then she depreciates her value as a long term partner. It would be better to look like she's just not interested than to look like she might be but on the fence for whatever reason. At least the not interested looks like he convinced her rather than she wasn't just playing games. Of course looking uninterested runs a greater risk of him just moving on. Over the years men learn that sometime a woman doesn't know how to turn him down. So they give the runaround until he gets the hint. Some games are played so that she feels perused or shows that she isn't desperate. These are all giant mistakes. In other words testing to see how much he's into you isn't going to fly. Ordering the most expensive things on the menu and barely touching it just to see how cheap he is, will probably give the wrong signals. Using sex as a bargaining chip or putting intimacy on a schedule is a recipe for disaster. These games are very immature and annoying in the eyes of most men. So if you are doing things to try and get a better read on the situation, keep this in mind. Even if those tricks and games you learned from whoever dating specialist or whatever magazine article actually work on a man over the age of 35, trust me when I say he probably isn't a guy you want long term.

 

     A lot of time it's just a case of women not looking at it from a man's perspective. When women are younger they only considered his side of things in regard to her and what she wants, not in regard to what is acceptable. Women like to count dates. Men count the first two or three dates. Then they are counting weeks. They are counting these weeks before and after dates as well. Now if you take this into consideration, ask yourself how long can he put you off before you say screw this. For how long and how many times are you going to make time in your schedule for some one to only be turned down and they aren't offering an alternative date to make it go smoother? Sex is a major issue both men and women. When you consider this issue, would you give a second or third date to a guy that still lives with his parents and was still collecting an allowance. Well that what women reduce themselves to when they dick tease. A twelve year old girl who still lives at home collecting an allowance, that call up boys giggling and says "come on over guy's I'm ready." If date one and two a guy gets to third base and things come to a screeching halt, there is a chance she wont get a third date or she has set herself up for a break up shortly after sex whenever it does happen. Not because sex is all he wants, but it's clear that she was comfortable with him and wanted sex. She either was playing a game or keeping to some schedule. The first date is understandable. She got carried away and no she can't be jumping into bed with every man she  meets so she stopped. Men see and recognize this. The second date is the problem. She was suppose to make sure it stays at a limit if she really didn't want it going to a sexual level. Sometimes it probably wasn't her intention to frustrate as much as she was a little insecure about how much he was into her and wanted a little reassurance, but men don't care. At 36 you don't get to frustrate some one to satisfy your insecurities. For men foreplay is only fun if there is an orgasmic release at the end. To keep it simple, if you don't want that, don't let it start. Some women thinking about their younger days, revert back to when they waited for sex. Relationships lasted longer, guys put in more effort, and she want to create that again. Well consider this, did it last longer and they put in more effort because she waited or did she use sex to make them invest more of themselves into the situation? So it meant more to them and it made it a little harder to let it go. This is important because at 35 plus, a man is going to know the difference and no he isn't going to invest more of himself just to get sex. Did I fail to mention all those other women with ticking biological clocks running around and aren't making things difficult, while she waits trying to make him put in more effort. For men, in there mid thirties and up, it's like this when it come to sex. We are adults that are dating. That's what adults that are dating do. I enjoy my sex life and I would like a woman that enjoys hers. They understand that there is a comfort level that depends on a lot of different factors. They also know women like sex as much as men and figure if you go on a certain amount of dates it will eventually happen. So ask yourself if you wanted a guy sexually, after how much time and how many dates with no conversation on why it hasn't happen, will you question why not. After a month everyone should be horny. Much more than that, you figure he is either playing games, getting it somewhere else, or this is how he is for whatever reason and move on. To keep it simple, as a man if you're an 18 year old guy and you break up with a 17 year old girl after two months because she won't sleep with you, you're a jerk. If you're 42 and you break up with a 38 year old woman because she won't sleep with you after two month, that is a legitimate reason. As far as they are concerned they're having intimacy issues and not sexually compatible. The reasons for the issues are irrelevant. You don't work through issues two months in. You start over with some one else.

        Now lets talk about what can be done about it. Woman are for the most part in control of men's advances and advancement when it comes to intimacy. Men are only in control of who they approach, when they approach and whether or not to proceed. Granted how men handle themselves depends on how they advance but it is still based on the woman's say so. If woman were more courageous, and approached men more often, and more directly, they could even take that little power that men have but that is another subject. That level of control women have gotten use to that isn't there when your older, is the factor in the whole situation. So women could go back to dating younger men. Then their back in business with the same old tricks. They only needs to get over how young he is. If they still have her heart set on a man around her age, then you may want to consider a change in attitude and approach. Now this doesn't mean she should jump into bed with a guy just because it's been over a month or that she stop trying to find out information on him and his intentions. It just means she needs to find better ways of doing it. Men are a lot more honest as they get older. Give him a reason to be and he probably will be. Communication is the key. Women like body language and action in communicating because it allows them to say a lot without committing to anything. Their brain works a little faster than the average guy's so his body language can tell her most of the things he is trying to hide. The problem comes in when the answers to certain question aren't answered. The they use imagination and emotion to fill in the blanks to get the outcome they want or at least what they thinks they want. So things are miscommunicated, misrepresented, misconstrued, and eventually misunderstood. So they misses out on the guy that would have made them forget that there are other men on the planet and start to resent every man that is on the planet. Women need to actually open their mouth and be very open, honest, and direct. Also They need to put in the effort to actually get to know him instead of just going on dates and appreciating his efforts to get to know her. Stop with the testing. Most of the test aren't even good test to what they're trying to find out in the first place. Don't think too much into things. They will eventually draw the wrong conclusions, if it doesn't turn him off and eventually run him off in the mean time. Not to mention they will eliminate some really great guys for no reason. Lastly when it comes to sex, it is a very personal and intimate matter so it is a must that your comfort zone is to be satisfied for it to be satisfying. Women just need to make sure they sleep with a guy because they wanted to. It doesn't matter if they want to because they wanted to share those kind of moments with him, or they wanted to get closer to him or they were just got horny and wanted to get off. In other words  her sex life is for her to enjoy, Not a bargaining chip or a reward for his good behavior. 

  
   With that I'm ending this post. I admit this post was geared towards women who have their eyes on guys over thirty but I hope it was helpful to all. It might explain what may or may not have gone wrong in some of your past experiences with men or help you in a current situation. Maybe now you know why he stop calling or why you only seem to get players and married men. Eventually men will figure out or already know what you're up to. If he's bitter about it, he will be a monster and use your games against you. Even if he's not bitter, he won't see you as mature enough for anything serious and either leave you alone or never take you seriously and use you until it fizzles out.


By: Intimate Asking