Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: The Guy's View Of The Friend Zone

      This post we're going to talk about the friend zone. Women respond to some men a lot better than they do to others. The ones that are fun and exciting are a lot more appealing romantically than the one's who are kind and polite. Some guys are nice, even cute and sometimes they are fun and exciting but for whatever reason there's just no spark. Therefore he is placed in the friend zone. So this post is dedicated to what is a guys perspective when he is placed in the friend zone. The friend zone is a position no man really wants to be in. It's just the situation they live with. They are usually just biding their time until they can figure out a way to get more. Now there are those few exceptions to the rule but even then, they still want a moment in time just to know what they're missing. There are situations where the girl is a good friend or family member's ex and the situation is just not feasible, but you better believe there are fantasies. Some players use the friend zone for casual hook ups and hide behind friend zone status to avoid commitment. Women have so many options when it comes to men, that it's to the point that they can be impatient and unforgiving when dealing with potential suitors. This makes the room for error in a mans approach very small. First impressions are important when it comes to intimate encounters. When a guy ends up in the friend zone, he turned the woman off somewhere in making his first impressions. The other men also vying for their attention, distracts women from being able to give the necessary attention to deviate from their original assessment of the guys they have put in the friend zone. A lot of times men work out certain issues and the women that ignored him for years comes running, especially when women get older and that biological clock starts ticking. In any event I want to put some food for thought when it comes to the friend zone.

      First off lets talk about why a woman has a man in the friend zone in the first place. The main reason is usually just a matter of respect or lack there of. Either the guy has it for the girl and it comes off the wrong way, causing her to loose respect for him in romantic setting. Maybe the guy doesn't have respect for her or at least she doesn't think he does and is afraid of being hurt. Another reason is a personality trait that she considers a flaw and doesn't want in a mate. This usually is a situation where he isn't ambitious, or smart enough, possibly her friends just don't respect him. Then there are the situations that are just the way it is and it isn't anyone's fault, but she doesn't want to deal with it. The girl may even feel guilty about dismissing him for it but it is a turn off non the less, which makes it an issue. No relationship should have to start by working out issues. These problems are things like race, religion, looks or maybe he has a disability. Now all of these things are legitimate reasons for not looking at some one as romantic potential, and at the end of the day you can't force emotion. Either some one does it for you or they don't. I'm just trying to say, that sometimes the question isn't does he do it for you, the question is have you given him a fair opportunity to and if so, maybe it's time he got another one. Just because you started as friend, doesn't mean you have to finish there. The guy in the friend zone is usually the one that will commit.

     Lets start with the main friend zone situation. This scenario are the most common. The guy probably has respect for her. In his mind she's a woman to be love, cherished, and appreciated. His feelings are genuine and would never intentionally hurt her, mistreat her, or taker her for granted. So he doesn't insult her intelligence with head games that she probably gets with most guys. Therefore, he treats her like he would want his sister treated, in the hopes that she notices and eventually gives him a chance at something intimate. The female has already determine that there is no romantic potential, so she interpret his honesty, patience, and sincerity as needy and too eager to impress. In some regard she is right, but there is a difference between being too eager to impress in general and being too eager to impress her. Also all the extra effort suggests desperate and a pushover. With no games there is no mystery, intrigue, or chase, which for a lot of women means no fun. Now add this to an already active female imagination and it gives the wrong impression of unmasculine, uninteresting, and not challenging. She may also even draw the conclusion he doesn't know how to handle women ( pathetic ). No matter how she interprets it, he's just not appealing romantically. The sexual tension needed to make things intimate isn't there and she wishes he would stop trying and go for some one else. Unfortunately for women, when it come to things like love, for men those emotions usually come really quickly and are very strong. So when a man come across a woman that has that kind of potential for him, he will usually go that extra mile and be persistent about it. What I think is funny, is when another woman comes along and the guy in the friend zone gives that girl the attention that the friend use to get, it turns her around to see him in a different light. Then when he dumps the new girl for the friend, she dumps him as soon as she realizes she didn't have feelings for him as much as she was just jealous of the other girl getting the attention she use to get.  
 

     If you find yourself in a bad friend zone situation and want to get into a just friends situation, it is easier said than done. It just boils down to how much you care about his feelings. I say this because the best way with the least amount of effort, is to date some one else and make sure he is exposed to the new relationship. It will hurt but he will eventually go away for a while. When he does return, he will be over you. This works because one of two things will happen. Either he will just go away because he can't stand to see you with another guy or he will still try. In which case, you can put him in his place by saying “if you want to be friends with me, don't make moves on me when I'm involved” and cut him off for a bit if he does. (Make sure he understands talking bad about the other guy counts as making moves). How serious it is with the other guy won't matter, ( make sure you don't tell him how serious it is ) it will put him in a spot. He may try again when you're single again but for the time being, he will behave himself. Another way that is a little more concrete, is to hook him up with another girl. If he is that nerdy guy that will appreciate any decent looking woman that gives him a chance, then you are a friend for life when you make it happen. Just make sure you give him some tips so he can be successful and is able to make her a girlfriend. The closer to you the girl,  the better it is for you. A good friend or family member is prefect. It doesn't have to last long or even go that far. Whether it lasts or not puts him in a jerk position if he tries to make moves on you again. Even gives you the perfect excuse of “that would be tacky for you to go out with him after he dated a friend". If you have a friend in the same situation, maybe you guys can do each other that favor. Two dates is all you need. You have the “that's the way you treat women” line to ensure you both make those two dates happen. The last tip is simple. There is an old saying, “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”. So just give in but be a bitch and don't give affection. Let him come to the conclusion that being with you isn't what it's cracked up to be. Being your boyfriend is different than being your friend. If you put him through hell he will break up with you. Afterwards you can just apologize and say “hey I know I'm a pain to deal with and not worth the effort but I would like to be friends again.” Then you're free.

 

      Now any position a woman takes when it comes to personal relationships with men in her life, is her own prerogative. This post is just trying to put the man's view of the situation and to make women look at things from another perspective. Now if a woman has a guys in the friend zone she should always reevaluate each friend situation every time she is newly single. She could be missing out on some one hidden treasure just because she came to a conclusion too fast. Woman are in a very unique position when it comes to romance. It is the males job to make the approach, the moves, and the mood, with little room for error. If he does fail and most men do only because they're dealing with a stranger, he is in a uphill battle to change her mind. Not only do women sit comfortably in their position, they use it as a defense on why they are single, with statements like “the good ones never approach me”, or “I only get approach by jerks”. What I think is really messed about those statements is, that they like to say it to the guy in the friend zone. If Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt walked through the door, the whole men are are suppose to make the first move will walk out that same door behind them as soon as they arrive. It's been my experience that a man usually isn't in the friend zone unless he has some romantic potential, he just went wrong some where making an impression. The guy in the friend zone isn't going to wait forever. If and when he does find someone else he is gone for good and rightfully so. As the saying goes, you snooze you loose. There are way too many great 35 year old single women wondering where have all the decent single men gone. The truth is, she kept them as friends and they went and got married. 
 

Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: How To Identify Lies

    This post is about catching liars. Men lie often and for several reason, especially when it comes to women. They usually lie just to impress them. Sometime they lie to make thing seem better than what they are. Other times it's done to make things seem not as bad as it looks. Either way it is in a woman's best interest to figure which it is before going to far with a particular guy. It could be the difference between kissing a frog or a prince. So I'm going to cover a few signs that might help a little.

     First lets start with the eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. I don't know if that's true or not but it is a window to seeing some lies. So here are a few clues to look for in the eyes. One is looking up and to one side. This isn't necessarily a sign of lying as much as it's a sign of thinking. If what you're saying is the truth, there doesn't need to be but so much thought. Now it could be just a matter of memory. Looking away is a sign of lying as well. When they avoid direct eye contact it's usually a sign of some deceit. Also a childlike innocent stair into the eyes can be suspicious. This is a sign that they are trying to convince you more than it is they're lying. It just means it's important to them that you believe them. The last eye signal is how they watch you. People that lie tend to study your reaction to see how much you believe them or buying the story. Personally I don't like eye signals for telling lies, because no matter what, almost all the thing people do with their eyes are signals of lies. I just prefer to use them as sign to tell about how much they are thinking and then see if I should investigate.

    Which brings me to speech. Speech is the big tell when it comes to lying. There are patterns that liars usually can't avoid. For one liars get a little defensive when questioning their. story. When telling the truth one doesn't mind explaining again something that didn't seem clear the first time. Also they get aggressive when you show evidence to the contrary of what they said. They are also evasive when asked follow up questions. Liars tend to separate themselves from the lie. So a lack of words like I, myself, or me is a good sign. Being vague about details are a good signs of lying. You may also notice with liars they may pause a lot in speaking. Rambling is a pretty good signal of lying but it could also be nervousness. With a lot of uuuummm an aaaahhhh with there stories is the hint. A good signal of lying is when there is a pause before a specific question. Not something like what do you want out of life, but things like where were you last night. When they pause to think about the answer, that is cause for concern. Now those are few speech patterns to look for when talking to some one that could be lying.
 

   The last set of signals of lying are for physical movement or gestures. Eyes and speech for the most part are more about thinking. The body gestures are just giveaways when it comes to lying. These are things people do without thinking about it. One sign is not facing the person there are talking to. A liar might kind of take side angle when talking. Putting oneself in a tight posture is a sign. When they sit on their hand or put them between their thighs and hold that pose while talking is a reason to doubt. Touching nose while talking is a hint of a few lies. That's where the Pinocchio story comes from. Covering the mouth is a sign. A huge signal is a smile with no emotion behind it. That's a sign of dishonesty. Excessive sweating is a sign of dishonesty. A sudden over demonstrative or animated articulation is another big giveaway of less than truthful statements.

  Now those are the clues to look for when looking for lies. It all boils down to how well you know the person. A boyfriend or a guy you hung out with a few times, they're great indicators of lies. The new people in your life is where you don't necessarily count on them. When you see these signals, it doesn't necessarily mean the person is lying. A lot of the physical clues are mostly signs of nervousness, which brings the question, what are you nervous about. When it comes to the eyes and talking clues, it is more of a clue that they are thinking. Telling the truth is a lot easier than lying, so less thinking is needed. Keep this things in mind, especially when you meet some one new. It may not be him lying as much as it's a guy meeting a new person he likes and wants to make a good impression. Don't have doubts just because a guys thinks before he speak. You should only be weary. Simply put, the signals are just signs to investigate, not to chalk it up as untruths. There are some techniques on how to investigate that but that's another subject all together. With that being said I'm ending this post.


 By: intimate asking
 

Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: Getting Guys With Personality

    This post is dedicated to getting guys with personality. A lot of women believe that guys are completely shallow and that if you don't have the looks, you can't get a mans attention or affection. Well that not entirely true. Men do appreciate personality, especially when you're talking long term. If a guy is with you because of your personality, you better believe he is thinking long term. Also the older a man gets, the more personality comes into play. Dealing with women can be a pain and a woman sticking out with personality is highly appreciated. The longer your personality sticks out, the hotter you become. For hot girl, it's the other way around. Her looks goes down after a while, especially if she's a bitch. If a guy is with a girl because of looks, their time together is dependent on him getting bored with sleeping with her. Also, the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is very true. Just because a guy doesn't think a woman is cute in the face doesn't mean he doesn't find her sexy. They're are so many women out there that get the hot rep just because of their body, and vice verse. So if there are any women out there that feel they aren't attractive enough to get men's attention, I want to give a few tips on how to use your personality to get any man you want.


     The first tip is to be aggressive. Make the first move and be obvious about it. Women are basically cowards when it comes to romance. They wait for the men to make the first move. They're afraid of the rejection. Well men are afraid of it to but they suck it up and go for what they want. To take it a step further, women  will pretend to reject just to test a man's confidence and see if he lets it detours him. Well men won't play that game. If he turns you down, there is a better than 50 percent chance he really isn't interested but that doesn't mean you should give up. It could just be your approach. So be confident, obvious, and direct. Don't give hints that you want him to ask you out, show up with tickets to the game and asks if he wants to go. When you get him at the dinner table, actually pay for the meal. When he tries to reach for his wallet to pay, stop him and say “hey I asked you out.” Another reason why making the first move works, is games. Women play so many games that it's refreshing to meet one that isn't. Depending on the guy, it may say a lot of good things about you. It definitely says confidence and woman aren't the only ones that like confidence. It also says, “I go for what I want and I get what I want.” For men that are mama's boys, this runs right up their ally. It suggest strength like their mama, and on a subconscious level it will work wonders for you. No need to mention how he will treat you when you trigger that side of him. Try this one night when you're with your friends. Approach a guy with one of your hot friends, and talk to him for a bit. Ask him out with her there. I promise he will be respectful, maybe even accept the date. Even if he isn't interested, he wont act like a jerk because he won't want to look like an bad guy in front of the hot friend. Don't back down if he declines and asks your hot friend out. Just mention one of you asked him out and the other one didn't, and he need to make a decision. When you get the date, that's your chance to impress him with your charm.
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     The second tip is to be very complimentary. Men really like compliments, because women rarely give them. You would be surprised to find out how many good looking  guys don't know they are good looking. When you see that not so cute girl with that really hot guy, that's what it's usually about. He never knew he was hot. Most of his life women did things to bring down his confidence, so he doesn't get a swelled head. They think he's been getting it easily all his life. The truth is all the women he came across thought that same thing and made him work for it. Therefore, he just thought he had average looks. So make him blush. Make him feel good about himself. What he does, how he smell, and what he says. Show him he's appreciated. This will benefit you for several reasons. The first one is you will stick out and stick out for the right reasons. You made him feel good and men usually marry women because of the way they make them feel. You also stick out because like I said before, most women don't give compliments. It will also throw him off guard. To know where he stands, be able to just talk to a woman and be himself, is something a man isn't use to. They are use to having to impress a girl, not the other way around. If you like confident men, watch his confidence go through the roof when you give him reason to be
   

     The next tip is to do a campaign. Get his friends on your side. Bring everybody lunch. Hook them up with all of your easy friends. Even if they aren't easy, a basic introduction works wonders. Any success they have with your friends works wonders for you. If they get laid, they become your friend for life. If they only get a phone number, they are at the bare minimum only saying good thing about you to him. So play match maker if one of his friends likes yours. It doesn't have to work out. Even if it doesn't, break it to the friend that your friend doesn't like him. It won't hurt you. Guys have a saying when it comes to women. You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. You brought the water. It also kills any doubts he might have about his friends teasing him about going out with a less than attractive girl, if he even finds you less than attractive in the first place. Peer pressure is a powerful thing, why not use it to your advantage. Having his friends constantly in his ear asking “where is she “ and repeatedly saying “she is such a cool chic” will psychologically take a toll. So be extra nice to his friends. Go to the bar with him and buy the first round or everyone a shot. Did I mention if it doesn't work out with the guy you're working on, the friends notice and sometimes take interest for themselves. Get a bunch of tickets for the game and pass them out. If you can make his friends your friends, they might may make him your man.

    Lastly is about talking to him. Act like you're really into him and what he has to say. Women say they like to talk, but the truth is they like to talk while the man listens. Well be the girl that does the listening. It would be so refreshing to a man that he didn't have to worry about impressing a girl and could just sit back and relax. Also, be funny and interesting. Woman put so much pressure on the man to provide the fun, that they don't take into consideration if the man is having any fun. They usually take an earn me approach to the whole situation. Be direct with guys. Most women hint or give clues. Be the girl that says “ I would love some Chinese food, or Tuesday I'm free.” Having to play mind reader is one of the biggest problems men have with women. It would be so appreciated if it was just said flat out. Another thing, is to stop with the games and testing. The tests aren't a fair test to what you want to find out, and the games are just annoying.
 

    Now those are the tips to getting men with personality. These tips are things any woman can do. They aren't hard and they make you look better than every other girl out there. When you stick out by trying to get with him as much as he's trying to get with you, it starts to just feel right for him. Just make sure you aren't used. So I hope you find this post useful.

 

By: Intimate Asking