Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: Casual Dating

    This post we are going to talk about casual dating. With internet dating being the new way to meet people and so many dating sites, you would think women would have mastered the art of casual dating. The men outnumber the women on these sites at a rate of five to one. So to take full advantage of these opportunities, casual dating is the only way to go. Unfortunately most women don't date casually or don't do it right. A lot of women have a tendency to find a romantic interest and stay focus on just him. Forsaking all others until they can figure out how much they like him or how much he likes them. They do their best to try and entice him to see things their way in an attempt to gain a relationship, when they could’ve gone on a couple dates with him and a few others simultaneously. When it doesn't go well, not only has a lot of time been wasted, but they may have lost their chance to go out with others who also had potential. So instead of just continuing on with one of the others, she has to now start over with someone else. With this way of going about things, women find themselves going months and sometimes years between relationships, looking for the one that lasts. Most women believe it's a waste of time going on a date with a man that they have no romantic interest in. So casually dating someone isn't really considered. This is so sad because to not do it or not doing it right can be emotionally exhausting, time consuming, and at the bare minimum inhibits one's ability to improve their dating skills. When one casually dates, they meet several people and learn more about what they like, don't want, and so on. They put more thought in what they think about the other person instead of what the other person thinks about them. There is no pressure to impress, so you learn how to have fun on dates even when you're bored, what kind of questions to ask, and how to be an all around good date. The biggest thing is you take a lot of pressure off yourself and your date when you start spending time with someone you do like. Did I mention all the extra activities you participate in and new hobbies you may pick up.

     Dating should be fun not a hunt for commitment. Casual dating is done with that intent in mind, fun. It's done without an agenda or a purpose other than to be social and to get to know someone. If you find that special someone as you go fine but if you don't also fine, as long as you have fun. For most men, it isn't fun to be sized up for marriage on the first date or any date for that matter. Not until they have been in a committed relationship for a significant amount of time is it acceptable in a man's mind. They understand for a lot of women, marriage is the ultimate goal so it happens, but it is unnerving none the less. Therefore most men take a casual dating approach to dating in general ( at least in the beginning ). So why shouldn't women do the same. There are exceptions to the rule but most men go on dates based on a woman's sexual potential. Even when looking for commitment, they start with physical attraction and sex appeal first. They think about her long term potential in their pursuit for sex. Some men date with just sex in mind and some date with just commitment in mind but very few go on a first date expecting a level of exclusiveness. So they ask women out with a casual dating mindset. Granted they aren't expecting women to focus on just them, but they are hoping for it. So men do find it a little disappointing when they find out that they aren't her only option but only the less confident and the chauvinistic lets this stop him from going forward. As long as they feel she has time for him and isn't playing games or wasting his time, it won't hurt a woman's chances for something long term with him. It may even help, depending on his ego. Who cares if it did? A woman should be with her man based on what she thinks not what he thinks. If a guy wants a woman for himself, it's his job to convince her he is all she needs.



       If you're going to casually date, you need to do it right. First rule is to go in with an open mind. Don't have any expectations and few limitations. You are there for you, not him. No you don't see yourself ever really being seriously interested in every guy but be willing to see what every guy has to offer. He may surprise you or maybe even change your mind. Which brings me to the second and probably the most important rule, have fun. Try to have fun and enjoy the experience. Even if you don't see yourself being with your date long term, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy his company. Try to learn about him and from him. You may find something new in him that you want in a man, even if you don't want it from him. Take part in all activities that feel comfortable. You may find a new hobby or even a new group of friends. Another rule is, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't obsess on one guy until you have good reason to. That's the beauty of casual dating. You're not stuck waiting on one guy to respond, wondering where you stand or when he will contact you. So you should go on as many dates as you can handle. The next is to be honest. There is a difference between having fun feeling a person out, and leading a guy on. If it is more than one or two dates and you are positively sure there is no romantic angle, let him know how you feel. If you like hanging out with him but don't want anything romantic, tell him as soon as you're positive you don't want anything like that. Then if he continues to ask you out, it's on him. If you're not sure then, it's not as necessary. Just know the more dates you go on without making your intentions known, the more he may expect from you. So it is best to be as honest, direct, and open as possible. That includes letting them know they aren't the only guy. Know honest doesn't mean detailed because men do judge. For example, letting them know they aren't the only one is OK. How many or what happens with the others isn't necessarily in your best interest. Offer enough details to satisfy questions and comfort levels (yours and his). Just make your intentions clear, show you aren't playing games, or with anyone's emotions. To avoid awkward situation or conversation all together, just keep a two date maximum for any man that has no chance at all. Then you don't need to tell him much of anything, it's none of his business. The next rule is to take your time and not make any snap decisions. That goes for both types of men, the ones that have potential and the ones that don't. The guy you like should be thoroughly evaluated as much if not more than the guy you don't see yourself with. How many men did you think were keepers that turned out to be losers just because you didn't take the time to look a little deeper? Lastly is affection. Just because you're casually dating doesn't mean you give or hold back affection in one regard or the other. You can kiss all or none or sleep with all or none. It's at your transgression and you don't have to be fair or impartial, in fact you should be quite the contrary. Each suitor is to be handled on a date by date basis. With you being judge jury and executioner, and no justice is not blind. She see things quite clearly and sometime even sees things that aren't there, especially when she gets drunk and want to have a little fun. 



           Finally I want to talk about why you should do it. When you start to date casually, you will begin to realize so much more in men that you didn't before, only because you didn't have anything to compare them to. It's just like shopping. When you're at the grocery store, do you by the first melon or steak you see or do you look at most of the steaks and melons available? That's what I'm talking about. You learn more about yourself and what you want in a mate. The things you like and dislike about men and dating in general become clearer. Another thing is you don't waste time focusing on just one guy. Think about all the times you did and all the other dates you lost because of it. It also allows you to take your time evaluating guys. If you are dating more than one guy at a time, you will find that you won’t care if any particular one shows interest or not. Yes you're looking for Mr. Right, but it's the difference between eliminating the guys that aren't Mr. Right as oppose to waiting for someone to call, so you can figure out if he's Mr. Right. Getting out feeling social is better that sitting on your couch feeling bored and alone. While you are out, you may meet a friend of your date that you do like or maybe he can even hook you up with someone that you will eventually like. Your time, attention, and emotions are valuable. They are not for sale but they should be earned. Casual dating makes you realize that. It is better to spend time on a new friend possibly more, than to waste more time waiting on a possible boyfriend. Why pay attention to a guy that doesn't pay any to you and it's easier to hold your emotions back from a guy you don't want to have them for, than it is to have them for a guy that doesn't have them back. So start making men earn it. Simply put, it is better dating to eliminate men, instead of waiting to see if they eliminated you.

By: Intimate Asking

Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: The Guy's View Of The Friend Zone

      This post we're going to talk about the friend zone. Women respond to some men a lot better than they do to others. The ones that are fun and exciting are a lot more appealing romantically than the one's who are kind and polite. Some guys are nice, even cute and sometimes they are fun and exciting but for whatever reason there's just no spark. Therefore he is placed in the friend zone. So this post is dedicated to what is a guys perspective when he is placed in the friend zone. The friend zone is a position no man really wants to be in. It's just the situation they live with. They are usually just biding their time until they can figure out a way to get more. Now there are those few exceptions to the rule but even then, they still want a moment in time just to know what they're missing. There are situations where the girl is a good friend or family member's ex and the situation is just not feasible, but you better believe there are fantasies. Some players use the friend zone for casual hook ups and hide behind friend zone status to avoid commitment. Women have so many options when it comes to men, that it's to the point that they can be impatient and unforgiving when dealing with potential suitors. This makes the room for error in a mans approach very small. First impressions are important when it comes to intimate encounters. When a guy ends up in the friend zone, he turned the woman off somewhere in making his first impressions. The other men also vying for their attention, distracts women from being able to give the necessary attention to deviate from their original assessment of the guys they have put in the friend zone. A lot of times men work out certain issues and the women that ignored him for years comes running, especially when women get older and that biological clock starts ticking. In any event I want to put some food for thought when it comes to the friend zone.

      First off lets talk about why a woman has a man in the friend zone in the first place. The main reason is usually just a matter of respect or lack there of. Either the guy has it for the girl and it comes off the wrong way, causing her to loose respect for him in romantic setting. Maybe the guy doesn't have respect for her or at least she doesn't think he does and is afraid of being hurt. Another reason is a personality trait that she considers a flaw and doesn't want in a mate. This usually is a situation where he isn't ambitious, or smart enough, possibly her friends just don't respect him. Then there are the situations that are just the way it is and it isn't anyone's fault, but she doesn't want to deal with it. The girl may even feel guilty about dismissing him for it but it is a turn off non the less, which makes it an issue. No relationship should have to start by working out issues. These problems are things like race, religion, looks or maybe he has a disability. Now all of these things are legitimate reasons for not looking at some one as romantic potential, and at the end of the day you can't force emotion. Either some one does it for you or they don't. I'm just trying to say, that sometimes the question isn't does he do it for you, the question is have you given him a fair opportunity to and if so, maybe it's time he got another one. Just because you started as friend, doesn't mean you have to finish there. The guy in the friend zone is usually the one that will commit.

     Lets start with the main friend zone situation. This scenario are the most common. The guy probably has respect for her. In his mind she's a woman to be love, cherished, and appreciated. His feelings are genuine and would never intentionally hurt her, mistreat her, or taker her for granted. So he doesn't insult her intelligence with head games that she probably gets with most guys. Therefore, he treats her like he would want his sister treated, in the hopes that she notices and eventually gives him a chance at something intimate. The female has already determine that there is no romantic potential, so she interpret his honesty, patience, and sincerity as needy and too eager to impress. In some regard she is right, but there is a difference between being too eager to impress in general and being too eager to impress her. Also all the extra effort suggests desperate and a pushover. With no games there is no mystery, intrigue, or chase, which for a lot of women means no fun. Now add this to an already active female imagination and it gives the wrong impression of unmasculine, uninteresting, and not challenging. She may also even draw the conclusion he doesn't know how to handle women ( pathetic ). No matter how she interprets it, he's just not appealing romantically. The sexual tension needed to make things intimate isn't there and she wishes he would stop trying and go for some one else. Unfortunately for women, when it come to things like love, for men those emotions usually come really quickly and are very strong. So when a man come across a woman that has that kind of potential for him, he will usually go that extra mile and be persistent about it. What I think is funny, is when another woman comes along and the guy in the friend zone gives that girl the attention that the friend use to get, it turns her around to see him in a different light. Then when he dumps the new girl for the friend, she dumps him as soon as she realizes she didn't have feelings for him as much as she was just jealous of the other girl getting the attention she use to get.  
 

     If you find yourself in a bad friend zone situation and want to get into a just friends situation, it is easier said than done. It just boils down to how much you care about his feelings. I say this because the best way with the least amount of effort, is to date some one else and make sure he is exposed to the new relationship. It will hurt but he will eventually go away for a while. When he does return, he will be over you. This works because one of two things will happen. Either he will just go away because he can't stand to see you with another guy or he will still try. In which case, you can put him in his place by saying “if you want to be friends with me, don't make moves on me when I'm involved” and cut him off for a bit if he does. (Make sure he understands talking bad about the other guy counts as making moves). How serious it is with the other guy won't matter, ( make sure you don't tell him how serious it is ) it will put him in a spot. He may try again when you're single again but for the time being, he will behave himself. Another way that is a little more concrete, is to hook him up with another girl. If he is that nerdy guy that will appreciate any decent looking woman that gives him a chance, then you are a friend for life when you make it happen. Just make sure you give him some tips so he can be successful and is able to make her a girlfriend. The closer to you the girl,  the better it is for you. A good friend or family member is prefect. It doesn't have to last long or even go that far. Whether it lasts or not puts him in a jerk position if he tries to make moves on you again. Even gives you the perfect excuse of “that would be tacky for you to go out with him after he dated a friend". If you have a friend in the same situation, maybe you guys can do each other that favor. Two dates is all you need. You have the “that's the way you treat women” line to ensure you both make those two dates happen. The last tip is simple. There is an old saying, “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it”. So just give in but be a bitch and don't give affection. Let him come to the conclusion that being with you isn't what it's cracked up to be. Being your boyfriend is different than being your friend. If you put him through hell he will break up with you. Afterwards you can just apologize and say “hey I know I'm a pain to deal with and not worth the effort but I would like to be friends again.” Then you're free.

 

      Now any position a woman takes when it comes to personal relationships with men in her life, is her own prerogative. This post is just trying to put the man's view of the situation and to make women look at things from another perspective. Now if a woman has a guys in the friend zone she should always reevaluate each friend situation every time she is newly single. She could be missing out on some one hidden treasure just because she came to a conclusion too fast. Woman are in a very unique position when it comes to romance. It is the males job to make the approach, the moves, and the mood, with little room for error. If he does fail and most men do only because they're dealing with a stranger, he is in a uphill battle to change her mind. Not only do women sit comfortably in their position, they use it as a defense on why they are single, with statements like “the good ones never approach me”, or “I only get approach by jerks”. What I think is really messed about those statements is, that they like to say it to the guy in the friend zone. If Denzel Washington or Brad Pitt walked through the door, the whole men are are suppose to make the first move will walk out that same door behind them as soon as they arrive. It's been my experience that a man usually isn't in the friend zone unless he has some romantic potential, he just went wrong some where making an impression. The guy in the friend zone isn't going to wait forever. If and when he does find someone else he is gone for good and rightfully so. As the saying goes, you snooze you loose. There are way too many great 35 year old single women wondering where have all the decent single men gone. The truth is, she kept them as friends and they went and got married. 
 

Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: How To Identify Lies

    This post is about catching liars. Men lie often and for several reason, especially when it comes to women. They usually lie just to impress them. Sometime they lie to make thing seem better than what they are. Other times it's done to make things seem not as bad as it looks. Either way it is in a woman's best interest to figure which it is before going to far with a particular guy. It could be the difference between kissing a frog or a prince. So I'm going to cover a few signs that might help a little.

     First lets start with the eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. I don't know if that's true or not but it is a window to seeing some lies. So here are a few clues to look for in the eyes. One is looking up and to one side. This isn't necessarily a sign of lying as much as it's a sign of thinking. If what you're saying is the truth, there doesn't need to be but so much thought. Now it could be just a matter of memory. Looking away is a sign of lying as well. When they avoid direct eye contact it's usually a sign of some deceit. Also a childlike innocent stair into the eyes can be suspicious. This is a sign that they are trying to convince you more than it is they're lying. It just means it's important to them that you believe them. The last eye signal is how they watch you. People that lie tend to study your reaction to see how much you believe them or buying the story. Personally I don't like eye signals for telling lies, because no matter what, almost all the thing people do with their eyes are signals of lies. I just prefer to use them as sign to tell about how much they are thinking and then see if I should investigate.

    Which brings me to speech. Speech is the big tell when it comes to lying. There are patterns that liars usually can't avoid. For one liars get a little defensive when questioning their. story. When telling the truth one doesn't mind explaining again something that didn't seem clear the first time. Also they get aggressive when you show evidence to the contrary of what they said. They are also evasive when asked follow up questions. Liars tend to separate themselves from the lie. So a lack of words like I, myself, or me is a good sign. Being vague about details are a good signs of lying. You may also notice with liars they may pause a lot in speaking. Rambling is a pretty good signal of lying but it could also be nervousness. With a lot of uuuummm an aaaahhhh with there stories is the hint. A good signal of lying is when there is a pause before a specific question. Not something like what do you want out of life, but things like where were you last night. When they pause to think about the answer, that is cause for concern. Now those are few speech patterns to look for when talking to some one that could be lying.
 

   The last set of signals of lying are for physical movement or gestures. Eyes and speech for the most part are more about thinking. The body gestures are just giveaways when it comes to lying. These are things people do without thinking about it. One sign is not facing the person there are talking to. A liar might kind of take side angle when talking. Putting oneself in a tight posture is a sign. When they sit on their hand or put them between their thighs and hold that pose while talking is a reason to doubt. Touching nose while talking is a hint of a few lies. That's where the Pinocchio story comes from. Covering the mouth is a sign. A huge signal is a smile with no emotion behind it. That's a sign of dishonesty. Excessive sweating is a sign of dishonesty. A sudden over demonstrative or animated articulation is another big giveaway of less than truthful statements.

  Now those are the clues to look for when looking for lies. It all boils down to how well you know the person. A boyfriend or a guy you hung out with a few times, they're great indicators of lies. The new people in your life is where you don't necessarily count on them. When you see these signals, it doesn't necessarily mean the person is lying. A lot of the physical clues are mostly signs of nervousness, which brings the question, what are you nervous about. When it comes to the eyes and talking clues, it is more of a clue that they are thinking. Telling the truth is a lot easier than lying, so less thinking is needed. Keep this things in mind, especially when you meet some one new. It may not be him lying as much as it's a guy meeting a new person he likes and wants to make a good impression. Don't have doubts just because a guys thinks before he speak. You should only be weary. Simply put, the signals are just signs to investigate, not to chalk it up as untruths. There are some techniques on how to investigate that but that's another subject all together. With that being said I'm ending this post.


 By: intimate asking
 

Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: Getting Guys With Personality

    This post is dedicated to getting guys with personality. A lot of women believe that guys are completely shallow and that if you don't have the looks, you can't get a mans attention or affection. Well that not entirely true. Men do appreciate personality, especially when you're talking long term. If a guy is with you because of your personality, you better believe he is thinking long term. Also the older a man gets, the more personality comes into play. Dealing with women can be a pain and a woman sticking out with personality is highly appreciated. The longer your personality sticks out, the hotter you become. For hot girl, it's the other way around. Her looks goes down after a while, especially if she's a bitch. If a guy is with a girl because of looks, their time together is dependent on him getting bored with sleeping with her. Also, the saying beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is very true. Just because a guy doesn't think a woman is cute in the face doesn't mean he doesn't find her sexy. They're are so many women out there that get the hot rep just because of their body, and vice verse. So if there are any women out there that feel they aren't attractive enough to get men's attention, I want to give a few tips on how to use your personality to get any man you want.


     The first tip is to be aggressive. Make the first move and be obvious about it. Women are basically cowards when it comes to romance. They wait for the men to make the first move. They're afraid of the rejection. Well men are afraid of it to but they suck it up and go for what they want. To take it a step further, women  will pretend to reject just to test a man's confidence and see if he lets it detours him. Well men won't play that game. If he turns you down, there is a better than 50 percent chance he really isn't interested but that doesn't mean you should give up. It could just be your approach. So be confident, obvious, and direct. Don't give hints that you want him to ask you out, show up with tickets to the game and asks if he wants to go. When you get him at the dinner table, actually pay for the meal. When he tries to reach for his wallet to pay, stop him and say “hey I asked you out.” Another reason why making the first move works, is games. Women play so many games that it's refreshing to meet one that isn't. Depending on the guy, it may say a lot of good things about you. It definitely says confidence and woman aren't the only ones that like confidence. It also says, “I go for what I want and I get what I want.” For men that are mama's boys, this runs right up their ally. It suggest strength like their mama, and on a subconscious level it will work wonders for you. No need to mention how he will treat you when you trigger that side of him. Try this one night when you're with your friends. Approach a guy with one of your hot friends, and talk to him for a bit. Ask him out with her there. I promise he will be respectful, maybe even accept the date. Even if he isn't interested, he wont act like a jerk because he won't want to look like an bad guy in front of the hot friend. Don't back down if he declines and asks your hot friend out. Just mention one of you asked him out and the other one didn't, and he need to make a decision. When you get the date, that's your chance to impress him with your charm.
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     The second tip is to be very complimentary. Men really like compliments, because women rarely give them. You would be surprised to find out how many good looking  guys don't know they are good looking. When you see that not so cute girl with that really hot guy, that's what it's usually about. He never knew he was hot. Most of his life women did things to bring down his confidence, so he doesn't get a swelled head. They think he's been getting it easily all his life. The truth is all the women he came across thought that same thing and made him work for it. Therefore, he just thought he had average looks. So make him blush. Make him feel good about himself. What he does, how he smell, and what he says. Show him he's appreciated. This will benefit you for several reasons. The first one is you will stick out and stick out for the right reasons. You made him feel good and men usually marry women because of the way they make them feel. You also stick out because like I said before, most women don't give compliments. It will also throw him off guard. To know where he stands, be able to just talk to a woman and be himself, is something a man isn't use to. They are use to having to impress a girl, not the other way around. If you like confident men, watch his confidence go through the roof when you give him reason to be
   

     The next tip is to do a campaign. Get his friends on your side. Bring everybody lunch. Hook them up with all of your easy friends. Even if they aren't easy, a basic introduction works wonders. Any success they have with your friends works wonders for you. If they get laid, they become your friend for life. If they only get a phone number, they are at the bare minimum only saying good thing about you to him. So play match maker if one of his friends likes yours. It doesn't have to work out. Even if it doesn't, break it to the friend that your friend doesn't like him. It won't hurt you. Guys have a saying when it comes to women. You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. You brought the water. It also kills any doubts he might have about his friends teasing him about going out with a less than attractive girl, if he even finds you less than attractive in the first place. Peer pressure is a powerful thing, why not use it to your advantage. Having his friends constantly in his ear asking “where is she “ and repeatedly saying “she is such a cool chic” will psychologically take a toll. So be extra nice to his friends. Go to the bar with him and buy the first round or everyone a shot. Did I mention if it doesn't work out with the guy you're working on, the friends notice and sometimes take interest for themselves. Get a bunch of tickets for the game and pass them out. If you can make his friends your friends, they might may make him your man.

    Lastly is about talking to him. Act like you're really into him and what he has to say. Women say they like to talk, but the truth is they like to talk while the man listens. Well be the girl that does the listening. It would be so refreshing to a man that he didn't have to worry about impressing a girl and could just sit back and relax. Also, be funny and interesting. Woman put so much pressure on the man to provide the fun, that they don't take into consideration if the man is having any fun. They usually take an earn me approach to the whole situation. Be direct with guys. Most women hint or give clues. Be the girl that says “ I would love some Chinese food, or Tuesday I'm free.” Having to play mind reader is one of the biggest problems men have with women. It would be so appreciated if it was just said flat out. Another thing, is to stop with the games and testing. The tests aren't a fair test to what you want to find out, and the games are just annoying.
 

    Now those are the tips to getting men with personality. These tips are things any woman can do. They aren't hard and they make you look better than every other girl out there. When you stick out by trying to get with him as much as he's trying to get with you, it starts to just feel right for him. Just make sure you aren't used. So I hope you find this post useful.

 

By: Intimate Asking

Female's Guide To Male's Mind On: Age In Regaurd To Men's Attitude

     This post we are going to talk about age and how it is relevant to man's attitude towards dating and relationships. Too many articles and books generalize men and place them all into this one giant category. Then send women out truly unprepared for what is to come and what is to be expected. Most of these articles and advice columnist don't really take age into consideration and gives bad advice on men that is very general and definitely wouldn't work for women who date men in a certain age group. Most good advice from these columnist and dating coaches give advice that are good for when you're dating a man in his twenties. When dealing with a man 35 and older, it might not be the best advice to give. Men grow up and take different attitude toward things in life. Love and romance is definitely one of them. So in this post, we are going to talk about those differences. Hopefully we can shed some light on how age is relevant factor to evaluate when it comes to dating, and how it affects you.



        Now to start it off, lets talk about a mans mind when it come to women and sex. Some where between the age of 14 and 20 a mans gets his first taste of sex and falls in love with it. From that point on he 's trying to sleep with every woman on the planet. Some where after 25 he realizes he's probably not going to sleep with every woman on the plant. They still tries but the realization kicks in. Some where after 30 they realize they don't have to sleep with every woman on the planet and somewhere after 35 they realize they don't want to. This is all a huge overall generalization, and there are a lot of exceptions to the rule. There are men over the age of 45 that are still in the conquest stage of there life and there are 18 year old boys that want just one woman to grow old with. Not to mention every man has a stage in his life when he is young and would love to have that special some one, just like every woman has a stage in her life when she wants to play the field (doesn't mean that they do, they just think about it). Now with all that being said, the after 30 part is when things get difficult for women. They say women mature faster than men do. Personally I disagree. I just think women and men are wired differently and are raised to go about achieving the same goals in life in different ways, so priority is confused with responsibility. How you view maturity is irrelevant on what we're talking about. For the point of this conversation you just need to accept that when it come to dealing with men and romance, woman turn 22 and stay in a particular mindset for 15 to 20 years. They may grow up and appreciate different things in men, want different things, develop different attitude towards sex and relationship but when it come dealing with men, it pretty much stays the same. There are requirements and standards that a man must meet to get their attention, keep their interest, and move forward romantically. Women may become more flexible in their terms, conditions, and/or standards but they are there none the less. They maybe raise or lower as they go for whatever reason but every woman has them. There is certain amount of interest he needs to demonstrate or a certain amount of phone calls that need to be made. Sometime it's just a matter of time or a certain number of dates. Men may not recognize them when they're younger and really don't care. They are either really into you and tolerate them or they're players and know ways around them and have others to fall back on while they wait out and fulfill the requirements. It doesn't matter to men in their in conquest stage of life. So they do whatever is necessary. When a man is older and no longer feels the need to sleep with every attractive woman he meets, is when a new attitude and approach to the situation develops. Which is the point of this whole conversation.


     In the younger years, women have a certain level of control in dealing with men in romantic situations. This comes from the men being in the conquest under 25 stage and haven't crossed them off the list yet. So they will tolerate certain behaviors just to get sex. Now women use this control when they're younger to manipulate. They manipulate men to settle some of their insecurities about the situation or to test men to figure out which guy to choose and sometime just to stroke their ego. This level of control is where they get tripped up on in the later years. Women at a subconscious level have these games or standard operating procedure. They may not see it that way or even look at it as a game but men do. They may even take it one step further and say “I hate games”. When the truth is they hate when men don't play their game”. For men doing things to not look easy is considered a game. Wanting to be chased a little and doing things to see how much he is into you, all qualify as games to men. Now most of these articles are giving techniques that would work on a 20 to 32 year old but unless a guy really likes you or is in a conquest stage in his life, they will be the kiss of death if he is forty and over and here is why. You know the saying young dumb and full of cum? Well at 40 a man is no longer young, no longer dumb, and with a lower sex drive no longer full of cum. For women sex is more mental than physical the older they get it becomes more physical than it does mental. For men it the opposite. It is more physical than mental when they're young. As they get older, it gets more mental than physical and women usually aren't as attractive at 36 as they were when they were 19. So it wouldn't matter if she was more attractive as an older woman, a forty year old man isn't going to tolerate certain behavior. It can even be a turn off. At 35, a man looks at a 22 year old girl and thinks sex is not worth this conversation. If he does tolerate certain behavior then you better believe that's sex is probably all he really wants. Once he gets it, her days are numbered. Their time together is dependent on him not getting board with sleeping her. There are conquest situations which are the exception to the rule. Example of one of those situations, is when an older man tolerates a 21 year old to prove he still has what it takes ( but he doesn't really want to date her very long ). Then there are married men and players. A married man will tolerate whatever as long as he can hide her from his wife. Her games may even help with that. A player has many others, so his perspective is clear. She can play all the games she wants, just let me know when you're ready for sex. I'll add you to the rotation. Simply put, playing game after a certain age says there is a level of immaturity about her, and that she is not to be taken seriously for anything long term. Coming from a young girl is understandable and tolerated but she is considered annoying after a while. Games from a middle aged woman is just a turn off. If she can keep him a while and show some other qualities, she can change his mind but is that a gauntlet anyone wants to run?

     With age comes experience and men recognize certain games and patterns from dealing with women in their youth and no they don't appreciate them. In their mind we are adults and she either wants to go on a date or she doesn't. So they don't chase anymore, they invite. She either accepts decline or ask for a rain check. He may start off asking her out and sincerely wants to see where it goes, but the longer she shows hesitation or even a lack of good reason of why you can't, the more she looks like she is playing games. Then she depreciates her value as a long term partner. It would be better to look like she's just not interested than to look like she might be but on the fence for whatever reason. At least the not interested looks like he convinced her rather than she wasn't just playing games. Of course looking uninterested runs a greater risk of him just moving on. Over the years men learn that sometime a woman doesn't know how to turn him down. So they give the runaround until he gets the hint. Some games are played so that she feels perused or shows that she isn't desperate. These are all giant mistakes. In other words testing to see how much he's into you isn't going to fly. Ordering the most expensive things on the menu and barely touching it just to see how cheap he is, will probably give the wrong signals. Using sex as a bargaining chip or putting intimacy on a schedule is a recipe for disaster. These games are very immature and annoying in the eyes of most men. So if you are doing things to try and get a better read on the situation, keep this in mind. Even if those tricks and games you learned from whoever dating specialist or whatever magazine article actually work on a man over the age of 35, trust me when I say he probably isn't a guy you want long term.

 

     A lot of time it's just a case of women not looking at it from a man's perspective. When women are younger they only considered his side of things in regard to her and what she wants, not in regard to what is acceptable. Women like to count dates. Men count the first two or three dates. Then they are counting weeks. They are counting these weeks before and after dates as well. Now if you take this into consideration, ask yourself how long can he put you off before you say screw this. For how long and how many times are you going to make time in your schedule for some one to only be turned down and they aren't offering an alternative date to make it go smoother? Sex is a major issue both men and women. When you consider this issue, would you give a second or third date to a guy that still lives with his parents and was still collecting an allowance. Well that what women reduce themselves to when they dick tease. A twelve year old girl who still lives at home collecting an allowance, that call up boys giggling and says "come on over guy's I'm ready." If date one and two a guy gets to third base and things come to a screeching halt, there is a chance she wont get a third date or she has set herself up for a break up shortly after sex whenever it does happen. Not because sex is all he wants, but it's clear that she was comfortable with him and wanted sex. She either was playing a game or keeping to some schedule. The first date is understandable. She got carried away and no she can't be jumping into bed with every man she  meets so she stopped. Men see and recognize this. The second date is the problem. She was suppose to make sure it stays at a limit if she really didn't want it going to a sexual level. Sometimes it probably wasn't her intention to frustrate as much as she was a little insecure about how much he was into her and wanted a little reassurance, but men don't care. At 36 you don't get to frustrate some one to satisfy your insecurities. For men foreplay is only fun if there is an orgasmic release at the end. To keep it simple, if you don't want that, don't let it start. Some women thinking about their younger days, revert back to when they waited for sex. Relationships lasted longer, guys put in more effort, and she want to create that again. Well consider this, did it last longer and they put in more effort because she waited or did she use sex to make them invest more of themselves into the situation? So it meant more to them and it made it a little harder to let it go. This is important because at 35 plus, a man is going to know the difference and no he isn't going to invest more of himself just to get sex. Did I fail to mention all those other women with ticking biological clocks running around and aren't making things difficult, while she waits trying to make him put in more effort. For men, in there mid thirties and up, it's like this when it come to sex. We are adults that are dating. That's what adults that are dating do. I enjoy my sex life and I would like a woman that enjoys hers. They understand that there is a comfort level that depends on a lot of different factors. They also know women like sex as much as men and figure if you go on a certain amount of dates it will eventually happen. So ask yourself if you wanted a guy sexually, after how much time and how many dates with no conversation on why it hasn't happen, will you question why not. After a month everyone should be horny. Much more than that, you figure he is either playing games, getting it somewhere else, or this is how he is for whatever reason and move on. To keep it simple, as a man if you're an 18 year old guy and you break up with a 17 year old girl after two months because she won't sleep with you, you're a jerk. If you're 42 and you break up with a 38 year old woman because she won't sleep with you after two month, that is a legitimate reason. As far as they are concerned they're having intimacy issues and not sexually compatible. The reasons for the issues are irrelevant. You don't work through issues two months in. You start over with some one else.

        Now lets talk about what can be done about it. Woman are for the most part in control of men's advances and advancement when it comes to intimacy. Men are only in control of who they approach, when they approach and whether or not to proceed. Granted how men handle themselves depends on how they advance but it is still based on the woman's say so. If woman were more courageous, and approached men more often, and more directly, they could even take that little power that men have but that is another subject. That level of control women have gotten use to that isn't there when your older, is the factor in the whole situation. So women could go back to dating younger men. Then their back in business with the same old tricks. They only needs to get over how young he is. If they still have her heart set on a man around her age, then you may want to consider a change in attitude and approach. Now this doesn't mean she should jump into bed with a guy just because it's been over a month or that she stop trying to find out information on him and his intentions. It just means she needs to find better ways of doing it. Men are a lot more honest as they get older. Give him a reason to be and he probably will be. Communication is the key. Women like body language and action in communicating because it allows them to say a lot without committing to anything. Their brain works a little faster than the average guy's so his body language can tell her most of the things he is trying to hide. The problem comes in when the answers to certain question aren't answered. The they use imagination and emotion to fill in the blanks to get the outcome they want or at least what they thinks they want. So things are miscommunicated, misrepresented, misconstrued, and eventually misunderstood. So they misses out on the guy that would have made them forget that there are other men on the planet and start to resent every man that is on the planet. Women need to actually open their mouth and be very open, honest, and direct. Also They need to put in the effort to actually get to know him instead of just going on dates and appreciating his efforts to get to know her. Stop with the testing. Most of the test aren't even good test to what they're trying to find out in the first place. Don't think too much into things. They will eventually draw the wrong conclusions, if it doesn't turn him off and eventually run him off in the mean time. Not to mention they will eliminate some really great guys for no reason. Lastly when it comes to sex, it is a very personal and intimate matter so it is a must that your comfort zone is to be satisfied for it to be satisfying. Women just need to make sure they sleep with a guy because they wanted to. It doesn't matter if they want to because they wanted to share those kind of moments with him, or they wanted to get closer to him or they were just got horny and wanted to get off. In other words  her sex life is for her to enjoy, Not a bargaining chip or a reward for his good behavior. 

  
   With that I'm ending this post. I admit this post was geared towards women who have their eyes on guys over thirty but I hope it was helpful to all. It might explain what may or may not have gone wrong in some of your past experiences with men or help you in a current situation. Maybe now you know why he stop calling or why you only seem to get players and married men. Eventually men will figure out or already know what you're up to. If he's bitter about it, he will be a monster and use your games against you. Even if he's not bitter, he won't see you as mature enough for anything serious and either leave you alone or never take you seriously and use you until it fizzles out.


By: Intimate Asking